I'm re-posting this today to join the conversation started by The Women's Fund of Birmingham and NBC13 about domestic violence. You can join the conversation here.
There was a lot of talk on the web about Keira Knightley's domestic violence ad. (It is posted above, and it is quite graphic, so please watch at your own discretion.) What fascinates me most about the discussion though is how many people are saying that the ad is too graphic and goes too far.
We live in a culture where women are regularly depicted as the objects of violence -- watch any episode of Law & Order, CSI or Criminal Minds, check out a Lifetime movie, or even watch one of the many true crime specials from TruTv to A&E to Dateline if you're not convinced of this. We regularly see women as victims who are brutalized at the hands of others. Just last night, I watched an episode of Medium in which a woman is killed by her brother and then another woman is convinced by this same brother to undergo several painful surgeries so that he can get back into her mother's will. Regardless of how you feel about these shows or what the message behind them is, it is impossible to deny how often we see images of women being physically harmed in the media.
Yet, an ad that addresses a painful reality for 25% of American women is too much. I have a suggestion for those who think this ad goes too far: If you're that upset by violence against women, work harder to stop it from happening. Let's give women the resources to get away from abusive men. Let's put more rapists and abusers in prison. And, perhaps most importantly, let's get real about the fact that domestic violence is happening all around us.
In the past year, we have also seen coverage of the Jennifer Hudson tragedy and Chris Brown's attack on Rihanna. We've seen that no one is immune to domestic violence. But, I fear that what we've also seen is a reinforcement of the idea that domestic violence is a "private matter." Days after being arrested, Chris Brown was photographed jet skiing, and the one person who said something about how inappropriate it was to be having fun after choking the woman one supposedly loves, Usher, was also pressured to apologize for these same comments days later.
Chris Brown, I don't care how "remorseful" you are. You don't get to have fun on a jet ski before Rihanna's bruised have healed. In fact, you can't have fun until you've answered for your transgressions in a court of law. If it was up to me, you wouldn't be allowed to smile until you had been punished for the brutal beating you gave.
I'm also posting another domestic violence ad from the National
Coalition Against Domestic Violence. While not quite as graphic as the
video above, I think it is quite powerful.
Domestic violence isn't a "private" or "family" matter. It's a question of life and death. And it needs to be treated as such. Domestic violence is graphic. And maybe our collective denial about the reality of domestic violence is hurting rather than helping the situation.
What do you think? Does the ad go too far? Does it go far enough?
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