It is What it Is

Cash Flow

I'm supposed to be working right now. Supposed to. For the most part, I'm pretty diligent about my job. Like all of us, if I don't do what I need to do, there are repercussions. While I'm not responsible for saving people's lives in the operating room or sealing all of the valves on the space shuttle, if I don't do my job, there will be lots of glaring, empty white pages for our readers come next month.

That's not something I want to happen. (And, if it did ever happen, I'm pretty sure that would be the last issue of Lipstick I had anything to do with.)

But lately, all I can think about is my tax rebate check. I filed my taxes on time, I have direct deposit and the last two digits of my social security number are in the 01-05 range. (I would have put the actual number, but I fear that my identity-theft-fearing family would never let me hear the end of that one, and that's just not a conversation that I want to have today. "Yes, I did see that Dateline report ... No, I don't think my financial future is something to take lightly ...") According to many google search results trustworthy sources, all this means that I should have my rebate by this Friday, May 2nd.
It's almost as if I'm powerless to stop myself from visiting Regions' online banking every 15 minutes.

Of course, my rebate is already spent. (Thanks to rising gas prices and a poorly-installed furnace, this winter was an expensive one for me.) But that hasn't stopped me from being nearly giddy over my expected pay out.

OK, it's time to get back to the Regions site now.

Chick Flicks

Based on a friend's recommendation, I decided to rent Waitress this weekend. For those of you who haven't seen it, Waitress is Adrienne Shelly's last film. (She was murdered in her New York apartment shortly after finishing the movie.) Waitress revolves around a pregnant, pie-making waitress (Keri Russell) trapped in a bad marriage. When she meets the new doctor in town (played by Nathan Fillion, my new future husband), things start to look up. I'll try not to give too much away, but if you're especially concerned about spoilers, I might not read any further.

For some strange reason that probably involves me not paying attention or some level of denial, I thought that Waitress was a happy movie. I might even have considered it a romantic comedy. Now, it is a lovely movie with wonderful performances, but I would not describe it as "happy."

At the movie's conclusion, I cried -- or sobbed, depending on your perspective -- and continued to cry for about 20 minutes after the credits finished rolling. sure this wasn't quite as bad as The Way we Were incident of 2001 (in which my former boss asked me two days later if I was going to be OK) or The Ring debacle of 2002 (in which I didn't sleep for four days out of sheer terror), but it wasn't good.

Am I a little too sensitive when it comes to movies? Obviously. But when they get to me, they get to me. And Waitress certainly touched a nerve.

In the last six months, I have helped launch a magazine, negotiated a car purchase, bought a house and learned to replace screening. Of course, I've had help from those around me and some good advice, but I've done a lot of it on my own. I don't worry about being independent, and I have faith in my ability to take care of myself. What I need faith in right now is romantic relationships. I'd like to know that true partnerships exist and that it is possible to be happy with oneself and with someone else.

And again, I'm trying not to give too much away, but let's just say that the movie didn't help me with that.

The Stuff of my Nightmares

A remnant of the prehistoric past is living in my front yard.

Well, it might not actually be a remnant of our prehistoric past, but it is definitely slimy and slithery and now welcome. I really don't think I've ever seen anything like it before. (I've also never actually worked in a yard before buying my own home, but let's not let that little fact taint our discussion.) On Sunday, as I was pulling weeds, THE CREATURE ("TC" from here on out) emerged from its dark, sinister depths.

TC is black and about six inches long. You're probably thinking that it's a baby snake, but TC was not rounded like a snake. It was much flatter -- the shape reminded me of a tapeworm even thought I've never seen a tapeworm, and I'm not sure tapeworms can ever survive outside of the human intestine. TC also moved in a very squiggly motion (yes, "squiggly" is a common term in biology) that seemed much too flexible for a standard, garden-variety snake.

After a thorough scientific study in which I gathered the above information and poked at TC with a rake, I believe it's perfectly fair to conclude that I have either discovered a new species of reptile or come upon a tapeworm/snake combo from the time of dinosaurs that was previously thought to be extinct. (I will call my discovery The Creaturus Laurelus ...)

Unfortunately, I don't think I'll have a chance to share my findings with the world since the moment TC slithered back into the grass, I decided that I would never go near that part of the yard again.My boss suggested crime scene tape to block off his part of the lawn, but for now, I think peaceful co-existence without fences and other barriers is still possible.

Plus, I think we all know that in a direct confrontation between TC and I, TC would win.